Brownies Follow-Up

So after the whole birthday party episode on Sunday night, last night, after giving it entirely way too much thought, I opted to eat an m&m brownie for dessert.  This time, I put it on a plate, and sat down.  I was very conscious about my eating and focused only on enjoying brownie.  I took little bites, actually chewed and swallowed the bites, then took another bite.  In other words, I actually savored it.  I don’t do that enough and I know that. 

It was very good and I enjoyed the brownie very much.  In the end though, it was short-lived enjoyment.  It was just a piece of food.  Gasp!  Did I really just say that!?!??!?

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5 comments so far

  1. Maria on

    I was surfing the net for blogs about compulsive overeating and found yours. I was amazed to read your “about me” section. I feel like I’m reading my own story!

  2. innerpilgrimage on

    You know, I totally understand the whole mania-then-calmly-partake thing with food. I’ve done this before, and even recently, actually.

    The day before my first day of abstention, I binged on cake remnants. That was supposed to be Day 1 of my abstention: October 13. That’s when I realized how really sinister this disease can be and how the compulsive eating is so part of us that it’s become natural to do so without even noticing we’re doing it!

    Taking control of the brownie was really awesome. Not sneaking it, not fighting it until you binge. . . that really was awesome. You made it food, again, and that’s the point of the whole thing (to me, anyway).

    • love2eatinpa on

      Welcome back, Jess! I know, once the idea of eating a certain something pops in our minds, there really is no stopping us. You are right, this disease is sinister, always lurking and waiting for a crack in our defenses. Thanks for your support on eating the brownie in a controlled fashion. One small victory for me, yay!

      • innerpilgrimage on

        That victory is both small and huge because of its meaning. You’re winning the war against compulsive eating one day at a time! Hooray! 🙂

      • love2eatinpa on

        aw, thanks! i’m trying, but it sure ain’t easy!


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